Hearts are the hardest working organ in the entire body.
We have several diseases that affect the heart. Heart failure, cardiac arrest, stroke are only a select few representatives of problems that destroy the heart.
My heart is one stinking powerful organ. Beating 72 times per minute, my heart pumps blood to my entire body. So, it is safe to say that this organ is significant right? It is the center of my cardiovascular system. My heart has a major responsibility. To keep me alive.
Different habits and different diets either cause a heart to be healthy or to digress. How often are we presented with the importance of heart health? It dominates the health magazines. The ad’s engulf our sidebar on Facebook. And this is all just for the physical portion of the heart.
Let’s transition to the spiritual and emotional side of the heart.
One specific disease affects us physically, spiritually, and emotionally. Many define this disease as imperfections, or mistakes. I define it as SIN. Call me harsh, call me insensitive. But I am not the only one that defines this grotesque disease as sin.
Two weeks ago, I revealed a facet of this disease that immobilized me to live a life that is godly. Have you ever had a moment when you discovered a problem and thought because you revealed it, that it would be easy to fix? To change? Ha. This process is not easy.
Perfectionism and comparison indeed run rampant in my thought processes. Just because I have disclosed it to you all does not mean that it flies away. In fact, it constantly causes me to question. It continues to be exposed. It persists steadily. But I am gaining freedom. As the drudge and impurities rise to the surface, I know that the refining process I am undergoing is worth it. Because He shows me that having Him is more than enough. Being perfect, comparing myself to others is evidence of my grappling for control.
A song that I encourage, plead with people to listen to is Spirit of the Living God by Vertical Church Band. This one phrase regularly enters my mind when I wrestle with my confrontation with sin:
~~Because When You Speak, When You Move. When You Do What Only You Can Do It Changes Us, It Changes What We See And What We Seek.~~
Let that sink in for a moment. When God speaks, moves, and accomplishes what only He can do, it changes us. It changes what we see. It changes what we seek. The treasure this phrase offers a release from the white-knuckled grip I have on control, perfectionism, comparison, and etc. Phew. The pressure I feel seeps out and I see God for who He is. My spiritual heart health is dependent on my diet that is disciplined in reading His word, praying, seeking, and following God. He makes me brave to do that.
This past week proved to be one of the hardest weeks here at the internship, yet pivotal to my growth as a daughter of God, a friend, a daughter to my parents, and a sister to my families. Parents can be strong pillars of support. And I have expressed many times the gift that I have in my host parents. But I need to relay to all that I have two very important gifts back home. My parents, the one’s who raised me, clothed me, disciplined me, and loved me, are intensely faithful. I am thankful, as I sojourn through this life God has given me, that my parents care to confront me and say the difficult things. Praise the Lord.
as the internship progresses…
In addition to the moments of intense spiritual growing pains, the internship involves taking Master level courses. And right now, I am wading knee-deep in constructing brilliant, master worthy papers. The struggle is real. My required book reading was informative and resourceful. Building structure on how to express my review, evaluation, and implementation has proven to frustrate my poor, little brain.
Management and Leadership are two of the key points that I review in my studies. Significant amounts of research have been done to help clarify the purpose/meaning of management and leadership in our world today. The importance of both and how they complement one another in the church is revealed clearly in James D. Berkley’s Leadership Handbook of Management and Administration. After 550 pages of astute thoughts and ideas, after listening to various TED talks, and after researching various styles and principles, I feel as though I have only scratched a surface.
The process of developing my definition concerning leadership and management are being manufactured as I study different principles and policies the world drafts out and the Bible outlines. I recognize there is overlap and differences. Together they help shape the measures I will implement into my present and future ministry.
Life as I know it
Still not done? Haha. I just wanted to show you that I have a life outside of the spiritual struggles and the internship.
A week ago I was able to co-lead a Young Adult’s Retreat which believe me was a load of fun! Hiking, smores, fellowship were unforgettable parts of this time with some
spectacular Young Adults. My other boss’s, Josh and Bryan, truly trained me well and led with patience and kindness. They are spectacular at following the command to be iron sharpening iron.
Also, I just experienced the Cleveland Tea Revival. Whose set-up is congruent with that of a candy store. So many teas to choose from! My dear friend, Kate, was my tour guide and helpful rescuer when I looked to her desperate for expert advice on which tea I should partake in.
Not only did I see the cutest old telephone in my whole life, I got my very own pot of tea with a charming perfect tea timer and tray.
That is all for now. The post is long, but I am making up for two weeks here. Thank you for reading and journeying with me!